My intention on starting a business is 1) I like the idea of being self-employed and 2) it is something that will allow Amelia and I to pursue people. I say it like that because both of us share a common passion—people. We want to love people; we intend to serve people
There is so much uncertainty in my life right now. That is not a good place to be considering I am getting married in two months. Or is it? No it can’t be. I don’t have a career lined up or offers on the table. In my heart I want to start my own business but is that really a smart thing to do two months before committing to lead and support the woman I love? Not that she needs my support, she has been doing just fine on her own. Am I dragging her down? That is what I am afraid of. I am twenty-five years old. I wait tables for a living. But that is not my living. I put in about 10-15 hours a week into my church doing music and outreach projects. I don’t get paid doing it. I go to a small church plant with limited resources, but I love it. I love being there. I love serving and giving up my time to further their mission. At least I think I do.
For some reason even that has wavered a little over the past few weeks.
I am not having second thoughts on committing another year to being on staff at church but I believe it is because my joy source is shifting. Not that I have missed the true meaning of the gospel message and true salvation, or that I haven’t really had a genuine relationship with Christ during my work there this past year; but my eyes have been set on “my ministry” this whole time. How can I make our church look more like Jesus? How can I make worship look more like Jesus? How can I create more outreach events for the church so that the gospel can be made known? It seems so righteous and so biblical! Right? But what I didn’t realize was until those things were accomplished in my book, I felt incomplete. I based my fulfillment on being successful in ministry. My eyes were set on “my ministry” when my eyes shouldn’t be set on anything but Jesus. He makes me complete so that I can serve holistically. This is a trap that even gospel-centered churches fall into. But I am going to cease my thought-train on this topic for now. I have so many thoughts on church, church business, church leadership, ministry, the idea of bivocational ministry (pastor with a second job), the philosophy behind how to run a church and I can’t even think about it all right now there is so much more (I think and write about more than church it just happens to be on my mind currently). But that will all come out later most likely.
My intention on starting a business is 1) I like the idea of being self-employed and 2) it is something that will allow Amelia and I to pursue people. I say it like that because both of us share a common passion—people. We
want to love people; we intend to serve people. This is something that you can do in any scenario, whether working 9-5 every day or serving as traveling missionaries. I am forever wrestling with the specific callings in my life, but, as of the moment, I want to pursue starting my own business that will allow me the flexibility to work at our church, or maybe use our home as a Sunday morning (or any morning) gathering place for local believers (and nonbelievers) in our community and invest time in pursuing those around us, or perhaps starting a nonprofit that serves a need of our city, or maybe (definitely) taking time when disaster strikes in our country to touchdown at the point of conflict and help serve and rebuild at the frontlines of natural calamity or any other various tragedies our world is full of. We want to be the hands and feet of Jesus and we do not intend to let careers get in the way of that.
The uncertainty is the what. What do we do for work? I am not looking for a way to get rich. I am looking for a way that I can work. I am prepared for the ups and downs and the instability that comes with doing this. So, where do we start?
Other than people, Amelia is passionate about health, fitness, cooking, craft, and nonprofit work (She is extremely talented and knowledgeable in all of these, and I know that tips, tricks and ideas on cooking/crafts and how to go all-natural using homemade products, essential oils, etc., WILL BE a part of this page (from her mind of course)). I am passionate about taking an idea and expanding it past its predetermined
limits. Also, entrepreneurship (to be determined). Oh and working with my hands, I am pretty passionate about that. So currently, we are thinking through our (mainly her) skills and turning into a business.
I write to think, and I’ve only been able to think through a couple of things that are uncertain in my life right now (I intended to address more).
But I am certain of two things….
1) I want to marry Amelia
2) Jesus loves me.
That’s all I need.
There is so much more to think about and so much more to write about.
To be continued,
(The purpose of this blog is addressed on the About page)